Setbacks Make for a Better Comeback

SetbacksJaune

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fighting for a comeback

It’s important to share not just the victories on my journey but also the tough setbacks. When working with children on the spectrum, you often hear about something called regression. With three kids, I can't say I've seen it in all of them, but I’ve definitely experienced it with the youngest two. Now, I can’t be sure if it’s true regression or just the fact that we haven’t reviewed the material they’ve “mastered” in a while. Honestly, I suspect it’s just the typical kid thing—if they don’t have a solid grasp on the subject, things can slip away.

So, whatever is happening with my kids—regression or a revealing of their misunderstandings—we face some hefty setbacks. We’re talking about being an entire grade level behind! To be clear, this only effects Artsy at this time while in the 2nd grade. As for Kindergarten and first grade, just like Jacki and Sonny, she was way ahead. This loss to me, speaks to my inexperience or catching the areas she was not having a solid understanding with. Every summer, we keep the learning going; my kids hardly get a week off (mostly just weekends), but we don’t stick to a rigid schedule like during the school year.

Discovering where the gaps are can feel utterly devastating, like a punch in the gut. I have no one to blame—no school, no tutor, just me. The weight of it all can be more than I can bear at times, but quitting is not an option. If I throw in the towel, I can already picture my kid’s future, and trust me, it’s not pretty.

Talking to others doesn’t help much; my mind is a one-track road with no exit for excuses. It’s all about winning for me and for us. After a brief moment of self-pity—less time than it takes to sit on the toilet—life calls with either an Artsy demand or a lunch request from Jacki. But before bedtime, I find the courage to tell myself, “This ain’t over! You better Rocky Balboa this!”

These moments, and many others, will make for the best comeback story. My inner child takes over and fantasizes about my kids thanking me for not giving up, and I’ll return the favor by thanking them for their determination. I can see them trying hard to understand, looking at me like, “Am I getting closer?”

Then I shift my focus to how far we’ve come and the direction we’re headed. Whether you’re religious or not, I know what fuels my strength and that unexplainable force that lifts my mood.

Pro Tip: Allow yourself to feel all the emotions—embrace them! Be accountable and reflect on your next steps. Live, learn, and know you won’t stop because “Go” is the only word you need.